Hi, my name is Rebecca and I am a TV Addict

I have a love hate relationship with nights like these. Nights where I know I shouldn't have had that Chai Latte Ice Tea so late in the day but happy the house is quite and everyone is sleeping. This is where the mind doesn't sleep and so neither do I. I have to be up in 6 hours for my daughters soccer game. I won't get a nap because I have my son’s soccer game to attend in the afternoon and it is my day to bring the snacks. Which I have not shopped for so that is what I will be doing in between then games. 

What to write about at an hour such as this? Is it the time to complain that I have no self control and spend my time watching all the seasons of Gossip Girl on Netflix. I am on Season 2 by the way so please don't spoil it for me by making any comments about what is currently happening on the show. Is the show still running? Don't bother answering me I can go on IMBD.com and find out. I love that app. I keep it close by for any random question I have of my latest viewing pleasure. I am sad to say that this show is quite the guilty pleasure. I can't exactly say why I love this show, but it sucks me in, well like most shows do. Today I giggled at scenes I am too embarrassed to mention. Tonight  I actually skipped down my hallway grinning from ear to ear, because the moment came when I was able to wiggle away from my sleeping son to grab a slice of pizza. I then took that slice of pizza back to bed with me, unpaused Gossip Girl and watched until my husband came to bed. I was about 2 inches from turning it back to Gossip Girl until my husband stirred and I decided it was better to write. But, what do I write about. Geez, my addiction to the show! I got problems. Netflix streaming is a dream come true and a curse all in it's self. I will admit it is not just Gossip Girl. It was Mad Men just before, and Greys Anatomy before that. I could go on to list, American Pickers, Weeds, Dexter, and Veronica Mars, but if I did I would feel compelled to tell you about, Lie to Me, 24, and The Office. I do have an excuse for my behavior. I wasn't always a TV addict. I used to read books, write and hang out with friends and family. I really feel like blaming this on my littlest and latest addition to the family, Payton. When he was really little I would read and nurse. But, as he got older 4 or 5 months, he got very picky about how he would nurse. He likes to be in bed with me on his side. He does not want me talking, or holding any book or typing on a computer. He will just stop nursing and get bitchy at me. He will actually shhhush me when I speak and knock any book out of my hand. I can get cleaver and contort my body so that he is not bothered by the book in my hand but it is not comfortable at all. And so came the habit of watching TV, whenever I nursed. It started with watching movies. But, I think I watched all the movies worth watching and many that were not. So, I turned to TV shows. Which never end! There is always something that forces you to watch the next episode. I literally have to pep talk myself out of my room so I can go about my other mommy duties. I know this won’t always be a problem but I can’t help but feel guilty. I never waste this much of my time on TV. I would rather waste my time reading a great book or writing the next great American novel, not wondering if Chuck and Blair will ever make a real go of it. 

xo xo,   Gossip Girl 

Sorry, couldn’t help myself! - Rebecca 

Being a Young Mother

I just finished reading an article about not judging young mothers. And it got me thinking about my own experience. I became pregnant with my oldest at 16. This was very much by choice. Actually, to be perfectly honest he (Gabriel) was the only child I conceived on purpose. I had moved out and had been out on my own for over a year, which at that age, a year is a long time. I had always wanted children and so it seem like a good enough time as any. And you know what, it was. I will admit I have at times thought about what I could have done if I had not had my son so early. But, really I don’t think much would be different. I just don’t think I would be happy the way I am happy now. I am not going to say that starting a family that early is for everyone. I have not meet a 16 year old that I would give the thumbs up to, or even an 18 year old for that matter. It is almost like this society is breeding irresponsibility in our youth. I watch an episode of teen mom and was horrified by their behavior. I am not saying that they don’t love their children because I know they do. I just think those girls were picked because of they way they make choices making for a more dramatic show. I remember the campaigns against teen pregnancy when I was in school and I really think that it worked to some degree. Most of the my friends from back east, at least the ones I am still in contact with have no children. I have one friend who recently became pregnant. But, really for the last 10 years NO one I knew in high school have had kids, even my friends who are 5 years older then me, which most of them were. Anyway, blah, blah, blah I am rambling. I wanted to mainly talk about my own experience as a young mother. So, here it goes. 

Being pregnant for the most part was a good experience. I only noticed a few stares and judgmental head shakes. At 30, I still get the “your so young” comments. The one and only comment that really pissed me off when I was pregnant, was a lady who was checking me out at the grocery store, she said, “Honey,” I hate when I get a called, honey, dear, sweetie, or what have you, by strangers. I am none of these things to you. I find it insulting and I definitely think it is said to make me feel like a child, which to me, at the point of choosing to have sex, you are booted out of “child” status. So, she says, “Honey, do yourself a favor and just get the epidural. You want your first child to be a pleasurable experience.” 

I am sure that she meant this with all good intensions. She went on to explain that she had tried for a natural child birth in the beginning and it made for a difficult time. I was raised to be polite and to not get into conflicts with prefect strangers, so I nicely responded, “You know that will effect the baby?” And in my head screaming at her for calling me “honey.” 

She retorted with, “Awww, sweetie, the doctors wouldn’t give you anything not good for the baby.” All I could do at that point was smile and walk away. My guts ran out. And for the rest of my pregnancy I avoided her checkout aisle. Whenever I would see her, I would curse her for treating me like a child. It wasn’t so much the topic, it was how she spoke to me.  

I was raised very unplugged from the norm. My mother had all 3 of her babies naturally, she nursed us all exclusively (never having a bottle), and all of our colds which we rarely had, were treated homeopathically or with vitamin C, garlic and echinacea . My mother would say, “Your teeth are straight, beautiful and healthy because I nursed you.” “Your hair and nails grow long and healthy because I nursed you.” “Your strong, smart and independent because I nursed you.” “ You barely ever get sick or have any allergies because I nursed you.” This doesn’t have to be true for you, your mother could have nursed you and still have all of the above as problems. But, it is true with my mother and her kids and I believe that it is true for my children and I.

I think the mother I was when I was 17 and the mother I am today would not disagree too much. I bet that I am a lot more relaxed now then I was 13 years ago. I asked a lot of questions of people that I thought had the right answers, now not so much. I read a lot of books on parenting, I still do but not for the same reason, more for research. I do however enjoy learning something new, but most of the things I read now, I either disagree with or I already knew. I am more of a know it all now. I am more more secure in my choices then I was. This could have something to do with age but I think it has more to do that I am more seasoned as a parent. But, I don’t look for acceptance as much as I did then, which I do think has something to do with my age. I know I make mistakes then and now, but I can and could live with the consequences. My son turns 13 in less then a week. I have been getting a taste for what teenager-hood will be like now for a couple of years, and sometimes I feel like I am in over my head. I mean, I have never parented a teenager and so far it is not a walk in the park. But, I take it one step at a time, and I know we will all be ok. 

Being a young mother is a challenge. It is a challenge at any age, because each age, I think will have judgement thrown at it. Although, the challenge of being a young parent, I don’t think I would wish upon my children. I would however support them if this is what they wanted. I know that each day I show them what it means to be the right kind of parent. I don’t know, it is a tough thing, but having open communication line with your kids is the way to go on this one, and really with anything. 

 I will be completely honest though, I don’t think my life choice to be a mother at that age was a wrong one. This is the life I wanted. I wanted to be a mother, I think it looks good on me and I am very proud of the family I created. I never needed the career that I was told to have, that I “missed.” Nothing I would or could have done for the last 13 years would make me as proud as I am of what I have right now. And who said you have to do it in a certain order. I love my life, and love growing and learning with my family. 

Love, Rebecca

Put your Baby to work.

    Having kids help out around the house has been something that has been done for generations. I am not sure how it is done in your house but in our house everyone is expected to pull their own weight. When I say everyone, I am also including my 16 month old son, Payton. 

    I believe that your baby from the day they are born can help you. Their snuggles and cuteness in the beginning, then the smiles and laughter come soon after, to make your day brighter. Make sure you thank them and let them know it makes  you happy. As time ticks on each new thing they help you with, even if it is not perfect, let them know you appreciate the help. I think the time you put in with your child early on will create good helping habits and a good work ethic later on in life . So, let your toddler help you sweep and or put away the plastic dishes, yes it takes longer to get done but it is worth it in the long run. Swear!

    Here are some ideas to keep your little one busy with helpful things to do, feel free to comment your own ideas: 

    All of my children help with the laundry, but with Payton, I hand the wet laundry to him and he puts it in the drier, then he gets to shut the drier door and push the start button.

    Payton also likes to push the start button on the dishwasher after he closes and locks it. 

    All of my children, once they started walking became my personal trash-thrower-away-er. This could be anything from a dirty diaper to gum wrapper. Tip: Keep an eye out for things you might want, that they think needs to be thrown away. 

    Delivery services are good for kids who are walking around, too. “Go, give this to Daddy.” “That’s Alabama’s can you go give it to her?” 80% of the time they did it correctly. I have found that asking for him to retrieve things as well works a good chunk of time. “Can you get Daddy’s shoes?” 

    I have my son also close doors for me, this includes cabinets that be shouldn’t be in. “Please, close the door.” 

    Before I take my son out of his high chair, most times, I will have him help me clean it. I try to get him to pick up the food that he dropped on the floor and have him throw it away as well. 

    When he takes things out I do my best to have him put it away. This takes persistence but I find that it is worth it because in the end it does get put away. 

    My son loves to get a damp white sponge to wash the walls. There are always hand-prints that need to be removed. 

    It is pain and it would be quicker to just do it yourself, and in this new age we are all running around busier then ever but I think it is in the top ten things you need to do with your kids to insure your future sanity as well as theirs. 

Happy Parenting to you! Love, Rebecca